In November 2013 we had the UK’s most famous and best looking dating coach on the PONY Express stage: HAYLEY QUINN.
What has dating got to do with public speaking you might wonder. EVERYTHING. You want to come across as confident and charming, on stage and of course when on a date.
Here are THREE take-aways from Hayley Quinn’s talk:
Don’t play safe on stage, learn to be up there with power and certainty about your message avoiding protective words like ‘maybe’ or ‘possibly’. We tend to get very cautious in a room of strangers falling into the temptation to say things like ‘It might be this but to be fair it could as well be that’. It is much more powerful though to create an emotional impact and go for the ‘I LOVE THAT – I always do this – I never do this’ and quit people pleasing. Turn the volume up of who you are.
Be this ‘Marmite’ person – it’s okay to shake people up with your message. Say exactly what you mean. There is no way you will EVER be loved by EVERYONE. Nor do you want to. How exhausting is it wanting to get it right for everyone in the style of: ‘I like staying in and I like going out’. Is that the person you want to be? Choose your side and speak up to attract your target market. That being vanilla is the most dull flavour. You can never get everyone to like you so it’s more important to connect with the people who are your tribe, rather than seeking to please everyone and get lost in the mix.
Always flirt with the audience – move towards them, use deep eye contact. Keep your charisma up and have fun with it. If you are a bit more of a risk taker you will grow in confidence. It doesn’t mean being obnoxious and over the top but stay strong in what you are about.
If you are always honest about who you are, everything will be alright. Remember: nobody is perfect but your passion about what you present from stage will go a long way, even if on occassions people don’t agree with you – they will respect you for BEING THE REAL YOU.